Are You Living With Intention? Part Two: The 5 Habits

Nov 6

Written by Kurt Schliemann

Essays habits of successful people

Are You Living With Intention? Part Two: The 5 Habits

Written by: Kurt Schliemann3 min read

Updated: 11/06/26

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For the first fifty-ish years of my life, I avoided living with intention.

What I didn’t want was to decide. Intention means deciding what you want in your life and what you don’t. I didn’t want to close off anything. I wanted to experience it all.

But what I thought was a virtue was just avoidance. I knew what I wanted, and I knew what I didn’t. I also knew that once I admitted that to myself, I’d have to live up to it.

Once you admit both to yourself, intention is the natural next step. And honestly, that’s when life gets a lot more fun.

Last week’s essay covered the pillars of living with intention, the big rocks that go in the jar first. This week is the sand that fills in around them: the small daily habits that keep intention from being something you only think about once a year.

In 1940, a life insurance executive named Albert E.N. Gray gave a speech called “The Common Denominator of Success.” He’d spent years studying what separated successful people from everyone else. His discovery: successful people form the habit of doing the things that unsuccessful people don’t like to do.

That was interesting on its face. But here’s the part people skip, which is vastly more informative. Gray said the successful folks don’t like doing those things either. It isn’t the fact that they developed a passion for the unlikable activities. It’s that they want what’s on the other side more than they dislike the work.

That’s the real secret behind the habits of successful people. Habits are hard to start, especially the ones nobody wants to do. But once they stick, they can be just as hard to break.

Here are 5 habits of successful people I lean on:

Planning - Dwight D. Eisenhower famously said, “Plans are worthless, but planning is everything.” Every December, my wife and I plan our year. We plan what we want to do, but also what we want to come out of it. How do we want our relationship to grow? How do we get more fun into ordinary weeks?Then we plan the months, the weeks, and the days. This is a radical departure from how I used to live. I’d discover what my day held when I woke up, and by then the workout window had already closed. Now my workouts go on the calendar on Sunday, which also tells me what time I need to be in bed. An intentional day always starts the night before. Sometimes the Sunday before.
Gratitude - Before my feet hit the floor, I name three things I’m grateful for. Yesterday, one was the strength I still felt in my body to do the things I enjoy - hiking, golfing, tennis. Naming it puts my head in the right place and gives me a little fuel for the morning.
Declaration - I have a Personal Manifesto. It’s a declaration of how I want to show up for myself and the people I care about, and I read it out loud every morning. You don’t need a whole manifesto. One line works, as long as it reminds you what the day is for and gets you a little fired up. Mine starts: “I am Kurt the Courageous” (yes, I need to be reminded).
Silence - For some people this is prayer. For others it’s meditation, or coffee on the porch staring at nothing. Some mornings I read something that expands how I see things. My wife writes her morning pages, Julia Cameron’s practice from The Artist’s Way. Whatever form it takes, the point is to get still and notice where your head is. Before the day gets away from you.
Exercise - I hate working out first thing in the morning. And I love how I feel on the days I do it: more energy, more focus, more power. Gray would say that’s the whole point.

You don’t need all five every day. Start with two. Build your own morning routines around them if that helps. See what shifts.

Living with intention means making room for what matters. These habits are how I do it, especially on the days I don’t feel like it. They’re how I live up to what I finally admitted I wanted.

Do you have a morning routine or habit that gets your day started right? Tell me in the comments. I’m always looking for a good one to steal, and who knows, maybe it turns into a “Living with Intention: Part 3.”