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When I was young, I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up.
It seemed like everyone else did. A doctor. An architect. A firefighter. It all seemed fanciful to me. The world was a big place. So many options. How could I possibly know at age 11?
I may not have known what I wanted to do -- but I knew that I wanted to marry an amazing woman, someone who would be my best friend. And I wanted to be a dad -- to raise beautiful kids, to create a family with harmony -- which I didn’t have myself growing up.
But I always felt that a career was just a means to an end. Jobs were ways to make money, ways to afford the other parts of your life that you wanted. And so the game was to maximize the money, so you could enjoy everything else.
But I missed something. I came to realize that if I wasn’t fulfilled in what I did every day, what I dedicated literally half my waking hours to, then it would have an effect. And not one that would allow me to truly show up for myself -- or for the people I loved most.
I thought I could do something that made a lot of money, but wasn’t truly fulfilling, and have it fund all the other parts of my life that I loved.
But compartmentalization isn’t actually a thing. We may think it is. But in the end, we just bury feelings that we still carry. And they find their way out.
The first wake-up call was when my father died. It got me thinking seriously about my purpose -- and the example I’d be setting for my newborn son.
But the next wake-up call, the one that made me do something about it, was when I looked in the mirror one day and didn’t like who I saw.
I saw a tired man. A man who was short-tempered. A man who wasn’t as joyful as he had once been. A man who carried resentment. A man who saw the negative side of things more than he wanted to admit. And that man wasn’t the best husband or father that I knew he could be.
I saw someone I no longer recognized.
Luckily, I had a life partner who fully supported me. She wanted me to find my purpose. We both knew that it would affect the family. That it was possible the lifestyle we’d become accustomed to would take a hit. But she knew that finding a passion in life was more important than the money.
And so the quest began. One new pivot after another. I kept getting closer with every step. Until 12 years later, it finally clicked.
It was a coach of mine who unlocked the final door. I had already discovered my passion to be a coach, a guide…to help people find their way back to themselves. To live the life they are meant to.
But how would I make a living doing that?
My coach told me, “Figure out what kind of life you want to live. And what that costs. Then become the person who can command that amount of money.”
It wasn’t about gradually growing a business. It was about something much deeper. About becoming someone new. And at first, her words scared me.
Could I actually become that person? What would that look like? What would I need to do? What parts of myself would I need to face?
But the more I sat with what she said, the more I knew she was right.
And so, now I spend part of every day sitting with a vision — of the world I can create, and the person I’m capable of being.
Because I can expand to hold it all. I can have the impact that I want. I can have the life that I want. I just have to become that person.
So. Who are you becoming?
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