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“If you are not afraid, there is no way you will hate me.
If you are not afraid, there is no way you will be jealous or sad.”
Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
I spoke to a friend the other day, and she needed some advice. It was a concern I’ve heard from almost every client I’ve worked with. And it comes in almost as many flavors as Baskin Robbins.
She’s making a pivot in her career. Not the first one she’s made, but this one has been hard-earned. She’s spent real time, energy, and money figuring out what she wants. This one’s real.
And she’s not sure how (or whether) to announce it publicly.
Underneath that question was the real one. What will people think?
Point 1: The people you’re picturing when you worry about this? Name them. Not “people” in the abstract — the actual humans in your head. What you’ll almost certainly find is they’re not the ones you’re building your career around. If they’re not supportive, they’re not your people. They may be loud, but they don’t matter to you.
Point 2, and this is the one that changed how I see almost everything. It’s either liberating or depressing. Maybe both.
Everybody is the star of their own movie.
I know you’ve heard some version of this before. Stay with me anyway, because many people nod at it but don’t fully grasp the significance.
Almost nobody is watching you the way you think they are. They barely tracked your last pivot, so this new one may not even register. They’re not sitting with your announcement and deciding what it says about you. They’re starring in their own movie. They’ve got their own plot, their own stakes, their own worries keeping them up at night. Your news is a background extra in a scene they’re watching with the sound off while they scroll on their phones.
And the people who are critical? The ones you’re bracing for? Listen to Don Miguel Ruiz: Don’t Take Anything Personally.
So yes, every pivot is growth. And you should be applauded for that growth, and for following your own intuition to take this new path. But worrying about what others think saps the vibrancy right out of your choice. The truth -- the one that’s actually freeing if you let it be -- is that most people simply don’t care. This is not a statement on you. It’s because they’re too busy being the main character of their own movie, same as you are of yours. So do whatever you want! Almost everyone won’t notice.
And finally, here’s what’s most important: the people who do pay attention, the ones who actually read it, and maybe even reach out with a word of encouragement or support? Those are your people. They took the time to understand what you’re going through, which means they care and they’re going to support you no matter what. You need as many of them in your corner as you can find. Everyone else, let go.
So the real question isn’t even “What will people think?”
The real question is “Whose problem does staying quiet solve -- theirs, or yours?”
Because when we abdicate our worth to the loudest critics in the room, we’ve already lost. We’re playing small.
So be the brightest star of the biggest blockbuster you can create.
And let everyone else be the star of theirs.
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